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Avoid Emotional Quicksand
Dr. Phillipe Goldin, from Stanford University, said ‘the goal of mindfulness is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions. The goal is to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and learn how to move through them without getting stuck.’ I like this advice because in leadership and life we have a lot of stuck people and it prevents us from engaging effectively in our purpose. Many of us hold grudges, regurgitate the day’s dramas and traumas, and we miss the present moments that we could focus on to make us feel better.
We know this is not healthy for our minds and bodies, yet we are addicted to negative thoughts about events that have happened in the past or use our powerful imaginations to imagine negative futures for ourselves. If only we used our power for good!
Having a mindful practice won’t totally eliminate wading through emotional quicksand, but every day you practice, it gradually alleviates the addiction to negative emotion through awareness. As you practice you avoid the quicksand more often. So many of us are oblivious to what we are thinking, blindly sucking up the negative moments and passing them on to others. As leaders, we should be imaging a great future of possibilities, not chewing on what is wrong in our workplaces or communities.
Find an Intentional Mindful Moment
Mindfulness has been around for centuries. It is the art and a practice of being able to focus. People practice mindfulness for many reasons including health, wellbeing, calming anxiety, and spiritual focus. I have found that I can be a better leader, daughter, friend, and just a better person in general from a regular mindful practice.
Every practice is different, and I encourage you to find your own rhythm. I have found that there is no one right way. In my own daily practice, I try to focus 20 minutes a day. I can attest that I feel better when I can get that time. It calms the mind and the body as well.
If I am experiencing a particularly busy day, I don’t judge myself (something I am still practicing and striving for – to be free of judgment). On those busiest of days, I always have time for a breath. One deep inhale and exhale. Eckart Tolle says one breath is a meditation. I can do this as I am washing my hands after a bio break, while I am traveling in an elevator or a bus, or even 30 seconds of silence and a purposeful breath or two as I close my eyes and go to bed. Find at least one intentional moment every day. That is how you can begin a mindful practice.
Right now, take a deep breath in, and try to exhale longer than you inhaled. For 10 seconds pay attention to the feeling of being in this moment. Congratulations, you have started a practice!